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I have been friends for over two decades, a person who's overcome numerous challenges, and I respect her for that. However, she's often blindsided by others. Her partner walked away, which came as a huge shock. Many of her social circle vanished at that point, because they seemed focused solely on the spouse. This surprised her. She made increased attention to be my friend, likely realised better what friendship was.

The Pattern of Disappearance

In the time since, several close to her vanished leaving her knowing the cause. The company she worked for became hostile, although she had been highly competent, and she left unaware of what had changed.

Current Dynamics

In recent times, we've both left the workforce leading to more each other more, yet I realize the part I play in the relationship is as the audience. I start subjects only for her to redirect the talk toward things she cares about. In terms of politics, she has firm beliefs. I try to suggest verifying facts or other angles.

She's been arranging a trip abroad I know well many times and lived in for some time. I tried to provide personal experiences, however, my input met with resistance. She purely solely sought me to confirm her choices. I recently returned from 30 days there she is eager to catch up, yet I'm reluctant.

Considering the Choices

I am unwilling in this role who cuts and runs abruptly, however, I feel she'll truly grasp the consequences of her actions on my confidence. Right now, my state is avoidance mode. What's the best step?

Possible Paths

You could cut and run, but it is seldom a smooth outcome we imagine. But confrontation with the goal of a solution requires bravery and openness from both people.

Professional advice indicates using a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Step one requires explaining what typically happens in your conversations. This needs to be based on facts and essentially what a recording device would replay. Next is to tell the way it leaves you feeling. There should be no argument on this point. Your feelings are your feelings, after all. The third step is to question how you are both can shift the pattern between you."

Consider she too has her own side, meaning you must to stay open to hear that. One effective method is telling to the other person:

"Now you talk while I will listen without interrupting for a set time."

It's wildly effective to encourage better communication.

Key Takeaways

This person might reject all you say, since certain individuals hold onto a “survival narrative”: they rely on a version regarding their experiences they won't abandon as it feels essential relies on it and it's all familiar to them. This poses a challenge as there is no easy route in such cases, mere obstacles. However, she might initially present defensively then consider about what you've said. If a resolution isn't found an agreement, you'll have peace knowing you were open and direct.